On my own again

Tuesday was a strange day. The end of my time in Bali. Two of my closest friends whilst out here in Bali were getting flights back home.

We stayed in the roughest of hotels the night before. The term ‘crack den’ springs to mind. It just wasn’t at all clean, filthy in fact, mouldy and falling to pieces. We’d stayed in hostels prior to this for much cheaper so it was totally baffling. So that was a rather depressing end to a brilliant time.

I walked over to the airport twice that morning to drop off my friends. Then I was alone. For the first time in 29 days I was truly alone again. For the whole time in Bali I have been with someone 24/7. Even the toilet has not been a place of sanctuary. It was odd.

I packed my things and decided to head over to the hotel I’d booked for my last night. I’d checked google maps a hundred times, taken screenshots I was sure I’d get there. I got lost. In amongst a village with tiny little roads I lost my tracks. Thankfully the Balinese are so friendly. Rather than having to ask people were coming up to me to ask where I’m going and if they can help. Eventually we got there in the end. An inevitable start to being alone again.

Next I booked a taxi and travelled for 1 hour back up to Ubud to our favourite place in Bali. I got some food, got a massage package which consisted of a scrub and flower bath (seems totally unnecessary but at the time it was incredible I don’t know why I don’t shove a load of flowers in my baths at home… probably because my dad would be less impressed!)

Later I met up with a Balinese friend I’d made and he took me on a last tour of a few places I had wanted to go.

Being at the airport now is odd. Its been strange to say goodbye to something that I didn’t expect to love. Before my travels I hadn’t put much thought into Bali or the SLV programme. I had been solely focusing on Japan and meeting my friend in Hong Kong. When times were tough in Bali that was also my focus. But now that I’m on to that plan I’m not sure what it is I want. I feel confused. Others on the SLV programme were desperate to get home again, back to their old lives, boyfriends, normal toilets. I’m not but I don’t know that I want the travelling either.

Yet again I feel at that strange point of ‘what am I doing!?’ …


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