So I promised some people that I would be honest in this blog about the bad times and not just the good.
So far this trip has had its good and bads. Little things such as giant spiders on webs in our jungle hut, upset stomachs, toenails under pillows, ants on food. To bigger things like flights landing elsewhere due to poor weather, slight whiplash when white water rafting. But I’ve gotten over them pretty well and most of them I’ve shrugged off and laughed about.
But one thing that is hard and concerns me is anxiety. On a rough boat ride to another island I had a panic attack. Since that day I have had moments of panic that feel like they could grow into attacks. I had to leave the sea in Nusa Lembongan because it was quite rough and I couldn’t catch my breath, my heart was going too fast. Then on a plane to Java we went through some turbulence and the dread and panic set in.
In these times deep breathing, music, closing my eyes and thinking about totally unrelated things has helped me to get through it and decreased my heart rate. But it does unsettle me.. I am concerned that it might continue through this journey. Maybe get worse. It seems to be the uncontrollable that is the underlying cause to my panic. And the truth about travelling is that there is a LOT of uncontrollables. Lots more planes and boats…