Why am I here?


This picture is quite incongruent with my thoughts and feelings at current. Almost a bittersweet picture. Which contrasts with this post quite nicely.

So today I woke up with this thought “why am I here? WTF am I doing!?”. Not a nice thought and not the last time I’ll have that thought I’m sure. “I don’t think I can do this travelling alone” nearly came out of my mouth today but I quickly stopped it and told myself its day 2 and I’m shattered.

So why am I here in Bali? I’m completing a 4 week voluntary mental health placement via a UK based company known as ‘Sri Lanka Vounteers’. I will be working with adults and children with mental health conditions, learning disabilities and also teaching English.

All I can say now is that its day 2 and its pretty hard going. Mix the language barrier, currency difference/exchange rate, cultural and religious differences with the jetlag, learning sessions, new people, endless information and sleep deprivation and I am a walking, talking, delusional mess!

Yesterday we went into Seminyak and were told to buy a local sim card in order to contact coordinators and staff members in case of emergency. We were advised on the price, told there would be loads of places to get sim cards and sent on our way. WOW! Finding someone who sold one was the first hurdle- and took at least an hour. Buying one was a feat on its own. Bartering was impossible- especially when you still haven’t worked out the currency. So myself and another volunteer were massively ripped off and paid 150,000 Indonesian Rupiah for a sim card preloaded with just text/call data (I still have no idea how much). Which according to google is about £9. Another group of volunteers got a sim card with 12Gb data as well as texts and calls for 30,000 Rph (or approx £2).

When you can’t even barter a sim card one starts to worry about how they might fair on their own in an alien country!!! I might blame it on the jetlag/sleep deprivation but I remain slightly concerned.

I’m hoping the answer to “WTF am I doing?” and “why am I here?” might come to me soon. But at current they remain a nagging thought at the back of my mind.



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